


Life Lessons

by Libennly



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Character Study, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Humor, M/M, Multiple Character Studies for all of the characters listed tbh, Philosophy, but it's also the first multichapter fic done by me that I'm actually proud of, look okay, this is a very specific fic that probably only appeals to me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:41:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22991146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Libennly/pseuds/Libennly
Summary: Teacher: Mr. HensonAssignment: Write a short essay on what you think the meaning of life is. Provide at least one reason to back up your view.Word Limit: Equal to or less than 2000 words.Equal to or more than 1000 words.It all began a year after the end of the world.Alternatively: Taako sets Angus a near impossible task. He does it anyway.
Relationships: Angus McDonald & Everyone, Angus McDonald & Taako, Background Lup/Barry - Relationship, background Kravitz/Taako
Comments: 6
Kudos: 15





	1. The Beginning

Teacher: Mr. Henson 

Assignment: Write a short essay on what you think the meaning of life is. Provide at least one reason to back up your view. 

Word Limit: Equal to or less than 2000 words.  
Equal to or more than 1000 words. 

It all began a year after the end of the world. 

After the end of everything, people tend to panic. After all, it happened before, who knows how close the next Doomsday is? As a result, there comes the sudden influx of petty crimes and robberies, people trying to complete their life dreams before the world ends in a burst of burning heat. Or, at least, that’s what happened and continued happening for about a year after the Day of Story and Song, I doubt I’ll get the chance to prove it wasn’t a one off in this lifetime. 

During this time, I was busier than I have ever been in my life. Pleas for help were pouring in from all over our planet and it was a wonder how I ever got a week off for this whole ordeal to take place. But between investigations and travelling, I found myself desperately bored in a kitchen on the moon. And I’ll never know if I regret it or not, but I began to talk to my wizard adoptive dad. 

Plates and cutlery created a cacophonous orchestration of music, comprised mostly of clinks and clanging. Ingredients the likes of which I had never seen before littered the marble counter and a few chairs. Several strange concoctions bubbled away on the stove, creating an almost pleasant aroma despite the contrasting smells. Most unusual, though, was the distinct smell of garlic that surrounded a browning chicken inside the oven. And in the middle of it all was Taako Taaco, with a garish, neon apron and a bowl that was so comically large it was a wonder how it could ever fit in his hands. 

As amusing and interesting as the whole scene was, I still found myself bored out of my mind. My feet swung back and forth slowly from my perch on my stool, each time narrowly dodging the counter in front of me. I still fear the day I get scuff marks on the wooden cupboards that lined the bottom of Taako’s favorite kitchen piece. A chef’s fury knows no limits. 

A sigh forced its way out of my mouth, embarrassingly loud compared to the noise already happening. Taako noticed for once and raised an eyebrow. “What’s up, bubeleh? Watching ol’ Taako isn't interesting enough for you?” 

“N-not at all, sir!” I lied, getting from my position of forehead-on-counter. “Just thinking, that’s all.” 

“S’fine, homie. Cooking isn’t everyone's cup o’ tea, I get that.” He sat down opposite me, pushing a set of weighing scales out of the way to set down his bowl. “What’s going on inside that big mind of yours? Did someone steal Susan’s pencil case? A teddy bear got his eye taken out?” 

I ignored the jabs and shrugged. “Not exactly, sir. I haven't really got a mystery going on at the moment, that’s the problem. I-I know it's ungrateful but I’m just so used to researching and planning in my spare time and now that there’s nothing really long term for me, I just feel.... feel...” 

“Lost?” Taako offered and I nodded slowly, picking at my sleeve. “I get that, Ango. After the apocalypse fiasco, I kinda felt a bit funny for a while, y’know? Like I didn’t know what to do with my life and all. It’s okay to take a break after going through some shit. Well, like, that’s what everyone told me, I’m not exactly the pinnacle of mental health advice.” 

Turns out if you’re an eleven-year-old who actively participated in preventing the end of the world, people tend to worry about you, a concept I am almost shameful to admit was unfamiliar for young me. As a result, I was sent away for a year to an out-of-the-way town, also known as Refuge. The year there wasn’t as bad as I had formerly imagined it to be, but it had still turned me off the idea of a relaxing holiday any time soon. I had rejoiced at the notion of returning to my work last January and flung myself into a small-town mystery almost immediately. 

At this moment in time, I was stuck in a period of time after a crime-solving streak, with nothing planned for me and a whole load of time off. I was so used to being focused on something at this point, that it was almost alien to me to have nothing to do. I needed something to challenge me. I remember relaying as much to Taako, albeit in different words. 

He hummed absentmindedly. “Sorry, genius boy. Can’t relate.” I shrugged, just thankful to be able to talk to someone. “Have you ever considered, like... the big mysteries?” He picked up the wooden spoon again and stirred the mixture inside his abnormally large bowl slowly. It smelt faintly of nuts. 

“Do you mean like t-the old unsolved ones, sir? Like Jacques the Dismemberer? Because they’ve already been touched on by a lot of those conspiracy theorists a-and they’ve got some pretty solid theories but I mean it couldn’t hurt to pick them up but then again it might b-be a bit hard to find evidence for any of those but I g-guess...” 

“I caught none of that, bubeleh, but I’m pretty sure that’s not what I meant. I meant, like, bigger than that.” 

“Jacques the Dismemberer killed sixty-eight people in the span of ten months. For a serial killer without magic back in the eleventh century, sir, that’s a humongous body count.” 

“Gods, if he just killed one more person...” 

“His targets were mostly young children between the ages of five and fourteen, sir.” 

Taako pointed his head firmly away from the ingredients and food and coughed quietly. I tapped my fingers against the marble counter, feeling like a kill-joy. 

“Right,” Taako sighed, his stirring growing considerably more sluggish. “Fun history lesson, didn’t need to know that though, bubeleh. Don’t say sorry, though” He added, noticing my expression. “New knowledge is always a plus for ol’ Taako. Still, I meant what I said.” 

“Did you mean the fatal epidemic of Coa’ Loa’? Because t-that was caused from a lack of knowledge about germs and their effect on the human bod-” 

Taako looked at me for a bit, wiped his face with his hand and sighed obnoxiously. “No, I didn’t mean that...What? Just what? How did you...? Look, okay, I mean, like, life’s mysteries. Which came first, the phoenix or the egg? What’s the meaning of life? Why are ears so funky, why don’t we just have holes at the sides of our heads? All that shiz, ya get me?” 

I sighed. You see, Mr. Henson, there is distinct different between investigating real-life mysteries and philosophical ones. My thought process depends mostly on tangible evidence and not the late-night ponderings of the mind. While I realize that some people have built careers on philosophy and even became wildly successful, this is due to the fact that they are recognized geniuses and I could never even consider the idea of pursuing philosophy as a serious career. 

But enough of comparing my mind to famous thinkers. The reason why I included this conversation in my essay is because of the conclusion, which is that I chose to investigate into my most detested form of mystery and, funnily enough, decided to investigate into the one furthest from the whodunnits I usually prefer. 

What is the meaning of life?


	2. Merle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I found Merle in his living room inside the trio’s old apartment with an old bible, an ugly looking blanket and a cup of indistinguishable liquid

The plan that twelve-year-old Angus was as following: get multiple opinions on the subject at hand, chose the most popular one and then work his way towards a conclusion from there. Nowadays, I’m sure that my approach towards this investigation would be wildly different, but please keep in mind that this was new territory for me.

As for the people I would be interviewing, there I faced a bit of difficulty. My original plan was to talk to people from multiple different walks of life to ensure that I would be able to get a wide amount of different views but after realizing that would make it harder to come to a solid conclusion, I had to revise my idea. From there I decided to ask the people I know have been through the most, namely the crew of the hundred-year voyage of the Starblaster. Surely after more than a hundred years of life, someone’s able to realize the true priorities in life. Using that same logic, I also decided to ask Kravitz, who, as someone who works exclusively in death, might have a few pieces of wisdom for me.

I found Merle in his living room inside the trio’s old apartment with an old bible, an ugly looking blanket and a cup of indistinguishable liquid. The living room, I found, was decorated with two cream-colored couches placed to form a right angle, with a wooden end table in between. The couches were covered with mismatched cushions and blankets along with multiple pieces of paper and wrappers. Light shone through the windows the spanned the opposite wall, flooding the room with a pleasant morning glow. And in the middle of it all sat Merle, who didn’t look up as I entered the room.

I coughed quietly, just alert him to my presence and didn’t become disheartened when he didn’t. I was used to Merle ignoring me at that point and knew not to take it too personally. Stepping over a few piles of wrappers, I made my way towards him. 

“Sir? I was, um, was wondering if I could ask you a few questions?” He turned a page, the page crinkling under his hands. I shifted from one foot to other before taking the initiative and sat down a comfortable distance away from the cleric.

We sat there for a few minutes, Merle steadily ignoring him and me trying to catch his eye. All he did for a while was continue trudging through his bible for what must’ve been the thousandth time and coughing pointedly. After what seemed like centuries, he sighed loudly and dog-eared his already wrinkled page. He laid it down on the end table more carefully than the disheveled cover suggests he had before and turned to face me, painstakingly slow, and then, and only then, did he begin to speak to me.

“Gods, is it time for the birds and the bees already? You’re only eight, right?”

Blood rushed to my cheeks. “U-uh, n-no, sir! I’m, uh, twelve, not that it matters ‘cause I m-most definitely did not c-come to you f-for that kind of talk! N-nosiree! N-not today! Or ever hop-” I broke off then, noticing his expression. “You w-were joking, huh?”

“Ah, I was just pulling ya’ leg, young Angus!” his grin seemed to split his face in half.

“That wasn’t very funny, sir.” I replied disgruntledly. He scoffed and shook his head. I decided to try my luck with pursuing a conversation actually beneficial towards my case.

“So, I was, uh, wondering if you could answer an important question for me? I’m currently investigating into a q-query someone asked me a-and I wanted your opinion so...” I petered off, searching his face for any sign of confirmation. He scratched his beard and then took a long look at me.

“Investigation, huh?” I nodded eagerly. “I’m not going to be added to an email list, am I?”

“I don’t think so, sir!”

“Fine...” He scratched his beard. “What do ya wanna know?”

“What’s, um, the meaning of life, sir?”

He paused; his fingers still entangled in his brain. Merle took a breath, and then another, and then another, before deciding on a good thing to say. “You’re, huh, a bit young to get all philosophical on me, Angus, my boy?”

I chose not to say anything and tapped my pencil against my notebook.

He looked at me then, and seemed to let down whatever front he had on, just for a bit. "Hey, hey. You doin' alright, kid?"

I smiled at Merle, feeling quite touched that he cared. "Oh, I'm fine, sir! I promise, this is all part of an investigation!"

He nodded slowly, before looking back at me and placing a hand on my shoulder. "Just know that you can always talk to old Merle. Been around the block, kiddo." Then he waved his hand loosely in the air and chuckled. " 'Aight, enough of that feeling shit. I'll try tell you what you came for."

“Well, uh, let's see.” Smacking his lips together, he leaned back carefully on the couch. He took another deep breath as he thought, air whistling back out his nose. “I think, uh, well, it’s to be happy.” He looked me, searching for some kind of expression on my face, which one I’ll never know. I nodded anyway, prompting him to continue.

“Like, um, what's a good example.... Angus, you could live the most pampered, laidback life imaginable without any fretting or worries,” he swallowed harshly. “but if you’re not happy, then it doesn’t really matter? I guess, the meaning of life is to be joyful and shit like that, to always look on the bright side and stuff.” He ended his ramble awkwardly, looking at me to signal that he had finished. 

I nodded absentmindedly, thinking over his sudden burst of cohesive thoughts. For once, I had managed to get over ten words out of Merle that weren't poorly timed jabs at my age or a colorful mesh of expletives and inappropriate jokes. And there was something else I wanted to ask.

“To be honest, sir,” I admitted, already beginning to write out my findings in my notebook. “I expected something more along the lines of Pan’s preaching.”

He snorted. Something moved in the corner of my eye and I watched in abject horror as he continued. “Thought I was going to tell you how worshipping ugly old plants is the meaning of life? Pan’s a cool dude but not that cool enough to control my outlook on life. He's my religion, not my mindset.”

Something Merle didn’t seem to notice, or he did and just ignored it, was the grotesque curling of his wooden arm’s fingers, bending backwards against what should biologically possible. I watched his hand, fearful of the eventual snap that might happen. I was never one for body horror, my stomach twists at even the slightest hint of unrealistic body proportions or warping. But I still found a sort of stunted fascination with watching Pan’s protests. Thankfully, as he finished his sentence, the fingers seem to recess back to their normal state and snapped back into place. Merle didn’t do so much as bat an eyelid as his body warped, except for flexing his hand almost instinctively at the end.

I remember leaving not too long after that, gathering my thoughts quickly and fleeing the room. I still felt queasy and I think I didn’t want to seem rude if I didn’t actively participate in a further conversation. It didn’t matter, I’m sure that I had gained all knowledge relevant to my investigation that I would get from Merle that wasn’t riddled with insults and cutting remarks. With one person knocked off my list, only six more to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bad, bad, bad but whatever. I can t remember if this makes sense or not, I didn't check over this chapter since I wrote it (early Jan). I'm sorry, I'm tired and desperately craving validation.
> 
> Updates may be a bit sparse! I've got Kravitz's shit sorted out, I've got half of Barry and I've got the ending, so it's not looking good for frequent updates... I've got nothing really coming up though, so I'll try and write more in my free time. 
> 
> Comments, please?? I've said this in a different fandom fic that I've posted a minute ago, but I'm in the sort of 'delete-my-fics' mood, which is something I used to do when feeling bleh. Any comments would help, your favourite line, your thoughts, even just a keysmash. Either way, thank you for reading!!! I love y'all sm ♥️♥️♥️♥️


	3. Barry

The next person I approached was Barry Bluejeans. Out of all the people I connected with more after the Day of Story and Song, Barry was the one I had the most in common with. Along with the obvious ones, the glasses, the fond jeering of ‘nerd’ or ‘geek’, the constant messing up our names, there was some shared interests as well, I am a detective, he once was obsessed with a book about one, he is a necromancer, I once read an extremely biased article on the moral wrongs of necromancy. It was a platonic match in heaven.

He was in the library when I found him, pouring over several heavy, ancient-looking books. The library is still one of my favorite places on the base. Placed inside of the fake moon, so as to not take up too much of the surface, the library was about the size of a cathedral. Bookcases spanned nearly every wall for two stories, each case stuffed with books of all colors and sizes. Large, rectangular tables made of a dark wood decorated the middle of the room, most littered with abandoned books and stray pieces of stationary. A librarian stood at the back of the room behind a large desk, a formidable dragonborn that I still see there to this day. She nodded stiffly to me as I entered, being someone who disagreed strongly with letting a child into her library. I spotted Barry near the back of the room and made my way towards him.

He looked up as I approached and waved to me, pulling out a chair beside him for me to sit down. I accepted the kind gesture, placing my shoulder bag over the top of the chair before sitting down. As I did so, I took a glimpse at a pile of books nearby. Several of the spines were emblazoned in large letters that read stuff like ‘100 WAYS’ and ‘RELATIONSHIP’ and ‘COMMITMENT’. Barry caught me looking and quickly swept them to the side and spread his arms awkwardly across his study space. I decided not to comment on it.

“Angus!” He said and I smiled. “What are you doing here? I thought you were off investigating a mystery or somethin’.”

I took out my notebook and pencil, flipping through the pages rapidly. “I got a week off somehow and I’m spending it at home. W-why aren't you off with the Raven Queen?” 

He shrugged. “Lup, Kravitz and I got a week off due to Candlenights-”

“Ca-Candlenights?” I froze, halfway through flipping to another page. “T-that was last month!” 

“It came early this year, I guess. Super early. We were all kind of shocked when the bush began blooming. Can’t ignore it though, maybe that’s the worst part of it.” He laughed hollowly and for the first time that conversation, I noticed the dark purple bags under his eyes and his rumpled, messy hair. The unexpected Candlenights had taken a toll on everyone. Come to think of it, I had never thought to question Taako’s sudden cooking frenzy, which is most unbecoming for a detective.

“So, did you come to ask me something or...?” he trailed off. “’Cause, no offence, but I’m kind of busy.” He gestured to the various books he had laid in front of him.

I started and began flipping through my notebook again, taking care not to rip the pages. “Y-yes, I, uh... I wanted to ask you a pretty personal question, so it’s, well, it’s okay if you don’t want to answer or something, sir.” I found that, unlike Merle, who is pretty lax on protecting his private information unless it’s to do with his kids, Barry tends to be more private about his views on certain subjects.

“Fire ahead.”

“W-what’s the meaning of life?”

Barry took a long, hard look at me and then leant back in his chair. “What brought this about, huh?”

I shrugged, not really wanting to get into it.

“Right, okay,” he said and traced his fingers lightly over the table, his hand slightly dipping whenever he found an inconsistency or groove in the worn-down surface. “There’s, ah, there’s a lot of answers to that question like, do you mean scientifically what’s the meaning of life. ‘cause I betcha that a stingy old scientist would tell ya that’s it to procreate and continue populating the planet even though that’s absolute bullshit because what about infertile people? And people in same-sex marriages? And people who just don’t want to have children? Absolute bullshit, I tell ya. Or maybe you want my own opinion, which, you know, actually makes sense seeing how we’re in a library and you could probably just search up what the meaning of life is if you wan-”

“I would like your opinion, please, Barry, sir.” I felt a slight bit bad about interrupting but I had a feeling that if I didn’t, he would just keep on rambling until next Candlenights.

“Right, er, okay, sure.” He stuttered, his fingers stopped tracing the table surface and began lightly drumming the edge of the wood, a repeated beat of about three or four beats per bar, I can't remember which. “My opinion... I think, maybe... Or not... no, I know, okay.” He took a small breath to calm himself and then continued. “I think that, maybe, the meaning of life is to love others. I know, I know!” He waved his hands at me, possibly seeing something in my expression that I didn’t know was there. “It’s soppy and all, and probably stereotypical considering how I’m supposed to be ‘The Lover’ and all according to those three but hear me out?”

“That’s sort of what I came here for, sir.”

“Right, sorry, yeah. Okay, let’s see.” The tapping became more frantic now, reaching its peak before slowing down completely. “Say everyone’s gotta love someone, platonically or otherwise. Without love, it’s all kind of just, meh, y’know? Without love, the world would be a festering pit of people not really minding each other or hating one another. Without love, some people wouldn’t really, just, like, grow as a person at all. Love strengthens the bonds between us as people, obviously, and love, well. You love someone, don’t you, Angus?”

I thought about all the friends I had made, I loved them and most of them loved me back, in their own special way. I thought about Magnus and Merle, who I cried for after thinking them dead. And I thought about Taako and Kravitz, who I loved both as fathers, after Taako unconventionally adopted me late at night. I loved them all and I told Barry that, who nodded 

“And your love might’ve helped them grow as people, yes? And their love in return helped you grow? I think love, in all forms, is the meaning of life.”

He draged a hand over his face, then, and sighed deeply. “Or y’know, it could be literally anything else, I'm no expert. Sorry for getting all soppy there, Angus.”

“It’s quite fine, sir! I don’t mind.” I replied, the words coming out in a mad jumble as my mind was occupied with scribbling fiercely into my notebook.

We sat in silence for a bit, a silence which I had initially interpreted as a comfortable one, though judging by Barry’s awkward coughing, perhaps I was a bit wrong in that assumption. I looked up to see him slowly reaching for a book, his shoulders hunched and a pointed expression on his face.

“If you’re finished, I’m gonna get back to reading, that okay?” He asked, already wedging the book open to where his bookmark was. I nodded absentmindedly, before registering his words and shoving my notebook into my bag.

“Right, sir! Thank you for your time!” I parroted, already at a steady jog out of the library, attracting an unwelcome glare from the librarian.

Only a few more to go. Six more views is more than enough for my research.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I guess that's done with, what a doozy. Got nothing pre-written until Kravitz's chapter, which is huhhhh but okay.
> 
> I would kinda appreciate comments but, like, I'm not going to beg for them anymore. If you didn't like this, I'm not gonna badger y'all into lying. And if you did like this, I mean, I guess just liking it is enough for me now? I don't really know, anymore. I don't know. 
> 
> If I've hallucinated most of this chapter, that's my mistake. If there's a huge gap in there, real sorry about that. I don't remember writing Barry's spiel whatsoever, which is rather incharacter considering my worsening memory, but huh. 
> 
> I love you all so much, ♥️♥️♥️, have a great night.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, nsdbkas
> 
> So this is the first multichapter fanfiction of mine that I'm going to try and not delete! This might be very boring, but I have 5000+ words written for it already, which is wild for me, so I really wanted to get it out there! I'm quite proud of this writing, even if it's a tad bit old now (think I started this early Jan? Which, btw, means that this fic is set in Fantasy January). 
> 
> Drop a comment please! I'm apprehensive about posting the rest of this, and worried that there's no point in continuing, so every piece of encouragement really does help! My Tumblr is @libennly. 
> 
> Love you all!!!! :) (using laptop so no hearts this time, unfortunately!)


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